Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Tip 5: If you want to hear ‘Yes!’ – encourage a ‘No!’

Tip 5: If you want to hear ‘Yes!’ – encourage a ‘No!’ 
People are at their most open and willing when they know that they genuinely have a choice in what they do. You can actually help people to feel responsive, and to arrive willingly at their own decision, by giving them the option of not doing what you want – and a chance to say why.
Leave an Open Door! That is, be very clear about what you want, and what you are asking. And then be equally clear that the other person has a choice. Give them a chance to come up with other suggestions – including a ‘No’.  Leave the door open for them to respond as they would genuinely like.
This may sound counter-intuitive... Surely I’d be crazy to actively encourage a No, when I want something done! 

In fact, the opposite applies. 
When you know what you want and need yourself, and you are able to turn mindfully towards other (perhaps unknown) options, then you are naturally in a position of strength. You can make your request with calm and confidence, knowing you are open to the outcome.
  • You stand on your own ground firmly – but include others
  • You actively demonstrate respect and consideration
  • You know you are making a request, not a demand
  • You include other people’s perspectives in your solution
  • There may be better options you haven’t thought of – and you can discover them
  • People feel respected and valued (because they are) 
  • People grow more empowered and effective
  • Creative negotiation space may open up unexpectedly
  • Underlying opposition comes to light early on
  • You trust that others are genuinely okay with your request 
  • Your confidence in the outcome grows

1 comment:

  1. I think this makes a lot of sense. Thank you for the thought and time to explain.