TIP 10: ... And a joyful new year!

Wishing all my readers a joyful new year!

I'm sure many others have already wished you a joyful new year - so here's a short tip about making the most of our joy! But in case 'joy' is not a word you often use, please feel free to find another one ...

You might like to try this:

• Notice what you do that matters to you: Such as going to parties, receiving presents ... anything will do, even things you may think small or self-centred.  

• Look for the qualities this brings into your life: They may be many and curious ...

• Take time to savour them! (This is the most important bit ...)

Remember:

If any judgements pop up as you do this, look beneath the critical voices to find the essence of the judgement.  

For example, try asking why something matters to you: 

"Parties matter to me - because I'm greedy for attention!"

"Getting presents matters to me - because I'm insecure!"

It's amazing how easily we criticise ourselves. So if you spot a criticism coming your way, look for the 'good reason' behind it. It will tell you even more about what matters: 

Finding the 'good reason' behind a criticism:

"I'm greedy for attention!" - I want to feel valued and loved.Enjoying fun and warm connections matters to me!

"I'm insecure!" - I want to know people like and value me.

Love and care matter to me!

Simple resolutions

You can make New Year resolutions in the same way. First, think of a quality which matters to you. Then decide what you could do about it. The most important thing is to feel and embody the quality. It may seem back-to-front to say so, but: what you actually resolve is secondary.

For example:

Enjoying fun and warm connections with others: What can I do to increase these qualities, if only a fraction?

(Just bearing these qualities in mind more often might be enough!)

Love and care: What can I do to increase these qualities,  if only a fraction? 

(Perhaps an everyday, practical thing for yourself or another person: something easily doable, like smiling at that glum newsagent who sells me my morning paper, even though she never smiles back  ... the choice is yours!)

Remember:

You only need to increase the quality in your life by two or three percent to make a difference.

Whatever you may resolve this year, and whatever you do - may it bring you (and others) joy!


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CAN YOU HELP?

If you enjoy these tips, why not tell a friend? I am publishing a book next year, and publishers like to know their authors have a wide network. I would be grateful for your support.  

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