I'm sure many others have already wished you a joyful new year - so here's a short tip about making the most of our joy! But in case 'joy' is not a word you often use, please feel free to find another one ...
You might like to try this:
- Notice what you do that matters to you: Such as going to parties, receiving presents ... anything will do, even things you may think small or self-centred.
- Look for the qualities this brings into your life: They may be many and curious ...
- Take time to savour them! (This is the most important bit ...)
If any judgements pop up as you do this, look beneath the critical voices to find the essence of the judgement.
For example, try asking why something matters to you:
"Parties matter to me - because I'm greedy for attention!"
"Getting presents matters to me - because I'm insecure!"
It's amazing how easily we criticise ourselves. So if you spot a criticism coming your way, look for the 'good reason' behind it. It will tell you even more about what matters:
Finding the 'good reason' behind a criticism:
"I'm greedy for attention!" - I want to feel valued and loved.Enjoying fun and warm connections matters to me!
"I'm insecure!" - I want to know people like and value me.
Love and care matter to me!
You can make New Year resolutions in the same way. First, think of a quality which matters to you. Then decide what you could do about it. The most important thing is to feel and embody the quality. It may seem back-to-front to say so, but: what you actually resolve is secondary.
Enjoying fun and warm connections with others: What can I do to increase these qualities, if only a fraction?
(Just bearing these qualities in mind more often might be enough!)
Love and care: What can I do to increase these qualities, if only a fraction?
(Perhaps an everyday, practical thing for yourself or another person: something easily doable, like smiling at that glum newsagent who sells me my morning paper, even though she never smiles back ... the choice is yours!)
You only need to increase the quality in your life by two or three percent to make a difference.
Whatever you may resolve this year, and whatever you do - may it bring you (and others) joy!
CAN YOU HELP?
If you enjoy these tips, why not tell a friend? I am publishing a book next year, and publishers like to know their authors have a wide network. I would be grateful for your support.
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