Take time to pause and breathe deeply when you are listening. Let go of your ideas, thoughts, responses and agendas, and create a calm, attentive space for yourself and the other person.
Even a few seconds of listening can reduce stress for the speaker and the listener. Listening is simply about being present. If you make a journey towards the other person (onto ‘their mountain’ – see the video clip!), you tune in to their perspectives. While you are listening, there’s no need to worry about your own agendas, or to prepare what you will say or do next. Letting go of your own thoughts and ideas as you listen actually gives you a break. Your calm attention then gives the speaker confidence, and also allows your resources to refresh, and to gather at their own pace into a creative and appropriate response.
- You feel more relaxed and resourceful
- The other person feels understood, valued and respected
- You choose more clearly whether to continue the conversation
- Your reply comes from a deeper, fresher and more centred place in you
- You can end a conversation more easily, with kindness and courtesy